south of market

25 mutual friends and nothing in the middle

2011-01-16T08:37:00.000-08:00

i havent been around here because of something called tumblr. i´ve decided that that was a boring way to spread any functional information due to the fact that i crave attention and everything is attached to my face books news feed. half of the things i say are not embarrassing. the problem is i´m too concerned with being cheesy. i need more strength. i want stamina. i want to be me in high school but successfully i´m sat listening. not talking and i´m taking notes.

today is the rest of forever. today is all about fighting limitation. its about saying yes to the wrong things and doing it because you know forever wont accept you. and then thats it. i´m sat there crying. thats the old me.

my feelings started after stretching. after kissing myself in a hall way. after feeling messy from a horrible breakfast of olive oil. when i´m working its so easy to have sugar. im going to replace all my misbehaving with water. i´m going to say good bye to you and our past. today is the rest of forever.

COME TO ME!

2010-07-25T18:35:00.001-07:00

this blog is officially terminated for the time being and maybe forever.

why you ask? Ive created a tumblr.

please come visit, you would enjoy it more than everything else you've ever touched in the universe.

cocacoracaca.tumblr.com

thank you for your time. and GO! GO! GO!

robby

2010-05-23T12:35:00.001-07:00

the elephant in the room always eats me

2010-05-03T17:52:00.000-07:00

i was independent when i had cats and now its just mad men and sleeping past three. i just was about to swing with my base ball bat until someone knocked me over in my head.

to pea

2010-04-29T04:47:00.000-07:00

im writing about you because you told me to, while doing it i'm listening to biggie. the B.I.G he reminds me of you in the same way bananas do. i feel close to these things, but even so your face. i don't know how i feel about your tumblr. reading the twenty five things you've written about yourself not in particular order makes me feel uneasy. i keep internally screaming thats not you thats not you. still, however, i feel connected, even with out wrapped leather around my wrists.

missing you tremendously

carl cox

2010-04-29T03:23:00.000-07:00

"going for a jog at eight in the morning to filter myself from all toxins previously disposed."

additionaly the story of this and everything in italics i mean parenthesis means error, the rest of the words are true because theyre mine, imagine all bolded. This morning i woke up at seven o clock because last night i promised him id come over geared in nike to prove my athleticism and over all will-power. i get very fascinated inside myself believeing that the only key to moving is looking in the mirror while having others tell me how precisely intelligent and beautiful i am. every compliment boosts me up one level, soon ill be powerful enough to do anything and for me this can be accomplished without showing my legs. i ran for approximately ten minutes. Thats all it took as the distance between me and him has always been short. i arrived on his strret breathless, bra-less, weraing a nightgown which was connected with itself a one-sy a unitard like jumper made with black silk ripped on my right thigh. my back held my bag which was equiped with with everything ive ever needed; a sports bra and short key elements for feeling ready. i gave him a missed ring tone because after a month of living in new apartments i still dont know his exact address. sometimes its better to keep things mysterious . i waited fourty seconds and felt weird about how long it took him to buzz me in. i checked myself in the mirror again though this time adjusted my hair as i felt sexier with it down blowing against wind and possibly his fingers.

i ran up two flights of stairs, it felt like ten , i was so exasperated that i could've fainted.

initially i didn't kiss him . we've been fighting about topics to hard to mention. i prefer being fed cereal while he prefers eating it. differences such as this marks the reason as to why theres any distance. i sat in bed stroking his hair rapidly. i felt all patience die, coming with that my ego. a funny feeling overcame me, the tiny particles of hair above my fingers danced vividly causing me to react though un-accordingly i fell asleep.

as promised the lights screamed open with it a laugh, his laugh, overly repeating "running in retiro" "it's time its time, i cant" i did anywyas as my eyes fought to stay shut as my body recharged slowly. i forced myself to believe in moving as if i was saving me from laying forever endlessly .

what are you doing better than me?

2010-04-20T06:47:00.001-07:00

im under a brick called sleep

the start of the new you going both ways

2010-04-07T06:59:00.000-07:00

i can die happy if this was playing in the background:

EISBAER

click it, i hope you clicked it.

im leaving my house this week to begin something in a new place which includes no one next to me and i can even say that i wont have a blanket. that means evertything will be NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW i dont know what words better.

rough week? think new. i do wish me and rob traded places in the sense that i got a student shared flat and he got mine but i have a window and im praying it to bring me lots of light and motivation. Moving is always nice becuase it gives other places a chance to feel like home. he once told me that ill never be comfortable anywhere enough to make it feels like home but i wont believe that. he said that our only home is the one with our parents but i wont believe that either. if youre going to be 19 and away your obliged to making your own rules, and thats reason A as to why i left. also im really greatful to xabi for giving my computer another go. everytime im happy wth it it blows up on me to the point of me convincing myself that im cursed. i will start painting now. i will never be late to work. i will use the new athletic la trainer adidas that my dad has bought me. i wont have excuses becuase i wont need them. i will be a terrace queen and drink only when i feel like one.

heres a version for before bed or durung love making:

EISBAER

2010-03-22T15:39:00.001-07:00

started opening picnic today which is a deal bigger than christmas becuase im a woman. i cleaned everything dirty and felt good about it.

hiding under china

2010-03-16T15:09:00.000-07:00

youre under your mother´s belly becuasse there's no room in any corner. or center. or underground tunnels with little floweres pawned in the middle. i want what i cant have and when i can get it i grow ten inches taller.

the start of my day was alright. normally i wake up when rob gets home which is auto motivation. though, sometimes we sleep again becuase i understand how hard it is with the hours. as my eyes a drift i´m thinking it'll be ok later when im awake.

me right now:

2010-01-23T19:27:00.000-08:00

i cant say how i feel. but it hurts. only in a physical way which i think is better because its manageable and less frightening. i know whats going to happen, ill eat a salad and we'll continue to spend all days in bed until we can't take it as our bodies will turn effervescent and we wont notice ourselves in the mirror and time will run by and that's a loss of identity but more so being social . better yet i should say that im happy. i 'm going to quit feeling sad about anything sorted around this redundant intuition and start thinking about the future. the future is full o f glittered days and good friends-- no alcohol. we'll feel good anyways. i want to go away again, take me.......

have a wank

2010-01-14T11:11:00.000-08:00

Dear Kat,
I'm not a bad friend just a bad writer or
pen pal but lets skip that .. why don't you give me your address so i can finally send you Christmas cards with drawings and cool things like Spain's smell.
current news:
Living with Rob in this overly beautiful apartment think of it looking like Jason's though fresher and homier.
i will take photos which will consist of me and the apartment yelling in the background and it ll be something good to look at

I'm working two jobs. i make good money, though sometimes I'm really bored and get nervous because the pub is killing me and i need solutions. quick.

my entire family is in Sydney Australia. mom tony prax. i don't want to go. I'm developing this thesis of life being more important in the moment rather than in the future. but its stupid and i need to discover a better solution. so far I'm doing research on critically thinking and I'm deep two paragraphs which feels good.

hows your relationship going?
and school and life mother, friends and roommates.
tell me something special
i hanker for you

love
carla

2010-01-14T10:25:00.000-08:00

in the middle of realizing that my keyboard will not and can not work which leaves me to option A, and that is responsibility. in due time . . ,

be naked when i get home

2010-01-07T14:32:00.000-08:00

today is different as most days deny me the pleasure of sleeping sixteen hours non stop.

2010-01-04T17:31:00.000-08:00

I don't know about you but i failed my first year of chemistry mind you i was ahead being the only sophmore in a junior class however i took it again senior year and blew my eco friendly human rights teacher away with a presentation on steroids.
whats even cooler is this website>>
PERIODIC TABLE PRINTMAKING
if i had this about that time im sure things would've strummed out differently and definetely more motivating.

i like zinc, it helps with colds and overall animal strength.

i want to be a part of this

2010-01-03T17:56:00.001-08:00

though more importantly i ate enough meat to last me a life time thanks to tony romas appropriately sized doggy bags.
there's nothing better than harrassing ribs and chicken like chewing gum .

i have a sore jaw and xabi with his portugeeeeese friends to blame.
i have a general sense of what i need to do>

what i need to do is get ready for thursday and that means doing all the laundry and buying chris a bottle of tequila before heading to work tomorrow. better sleeping habbits. to see my brother because hes looking cute and i miss nathan an dnin aand jakob and ettienne and atleast there s a baby around which isnt suppose to sounds as weird as that did. to get a home. to change the bed sheets. buy cereal, and work on writing anything else.

sorry .

happy 2010 losers.
and a final goood bye for its time to sleep>>

love that song.

2009-12-30T16:01:00.000-08:00

I accidently watched half of that julie julia movie last night on the internet. "paper heart" was meant to play but you can't trust video streaming which is why with choice i'm far into blue ray. well not really, but it seems to be huge this christmas and according to my sources its the thing to get into.

too related and not close enough

2009-12-27T07:21:00.000-08:00

After viweing my sister's tumblr which can be found here

http://praxsmiles.tumblr.com/

ive realized two things A. that im far behind on my internet searching and B. my sister devotes a lot of her time to physically thinking and dealing with her thoughts.
to further my point,, time is moving too quickly and i'm doing nothing with it.

ALSO WITH EVERYONE IN AUSTRALIA, AND ADDING A WELCOME TO PRAX I SAY GOODBYE TO THIS HOUSE.

fervor for monogamy

2009-12-21T18:23:00.000-08:00

very bad sleeping arrangement i think because now that i have rob's computer I'm taking advantage of online video streaming and there's gossip girl . but who noticed--- the boring. i cant stand half of it anymore which concludes to my mature..
THE OFFICE UK *for obvious reasons. this i like -seriously- cringing means humor and when your with an English guy you turn into one and lately it keeps me feeling pure.
also I'm tired. like a migraine full on and my fingers growing into a puss ball because i dropped a tea cup on the floor and caught it hastily after Yasmina sneered at me yelling careful. its infected. though worse of all we got these two new guys at work and what kills me is how Ive been acting like Matthew in the sense that i get nasty and say "get out of the bar get out of the bar!!'' I'm completely bi polar,, thanks to being over worked, and for this i wont apologize but i will say happy Christmas and i miss you..

2009-12-07T13:00:00.000-08:00

ReAlly
need to pee

i know im horrible

2009-11-23T13:50:00.000-08:00

i cant help that i break everything i have. with out an mp3 and actaul laptop i feel less and less in depth//ly into the 20th century rhythem. i apolozie for that but it seems as if im in one of those log cabins with nothing but whiskey though im not a big fan of it so it sits there starring at me. i cooked rice today, anf asides from that i went shopping to buy salmon and guess what im sturing up
guess
SUSHI.
ican do things like that now and its motivating.

tiki taka

2009-06-19T02:12:00.000-07:00

so as i write this i'm thirsty
i am hungry for no work for another trip to Segovia but this time i will... well i dont know what i will do differently maybe cancel being a brat during the trip home or even something similar like immediately killing hesitance towards anything. what i saw which is curious was a castle that i cant remember the name of but i was in lord of the rings and maybe even new zealand because the greens around the spanish country side is a clear post card.i already forgot about how the electricity went off in my flat. usually what one would do is take a trip down to the main power outlet and switch the panel on and off like your sawyer from lost but the thing is i would never. id rather be light less and when companies over its sexy.

2009-05-28T06:53:00.000-07:00

"i have no water at home since past friday but a fontanero arrived this morning
i think this is something you must know."

"so youre smelly and dehydrated?"

"my muscle in the low part of my leg is broken cause i didnt drink water for the entire night but this is apart-- i'm taking showers in the houses of the bitches that i meet in my alcoholic nights"

"jesus christ sounds like you're turning into me im an official slut these days a total puta welcome to the world of fun"

i thought this might satisfy you:

2009-05-25T12:14:00.000-07:00

http://www.neatorama.com/2009/01/14/the-hamburger-bed/

no me, no you or food in the fridge.

2009-05-15T10:24:00.000-07:00

nothings more affordable than having a new bed and when youre feeling really fresh you're not spoiled you're a king.so i f you want to say anything nice about spain i would say thanks for the bank holidays and melocoton with the extra squiggly lines emphasizing accents. ive been sitting in front of this window for almost four hours so i can say that i enjoy not having internet at home because its motivating me to do funner things like working on inevitable plans for the future which helps to organize specific extreme contents that still i need help understanding . i know i always say these things but this time i promise every one of you that ill develop film and ill mail out some cards because yes a promise is a promise and that's why i make them. people getting tired of being stylish in madrid.

i like this:

mia has crabs and thats why shes dirty

2009-04-20T13:47:00.000-07:00

uhm also asides from leaving my purse on the bus and other similar things im thinking of how we need to get out tonight and ignore waking up early

this is called the time and place to remember many things all together

2009-04-05T13:46:00.000-07:00

taken in murcia, last weekend very windy and i liked it:

not only do i want to re create my entire living arrangement but i am. the plan is two weeks and the four of us with only one i know who is tati, will be moving into a big flat space. and it will be very reassuring because i'll have a room to myself and that's when ill be able to write more and check out all these tasks to follow below:

continuing to dance to gui borrato i s something that i want to do real bad every second but the problem is i've been working and hes a brazillan techno producer from san pablo,which is a very small town and he is not a dj. meaning that he plays live and most importantly his new alblum's title is "take my breath away" and that's what it does to me.

today particularly i ve been eating a lot of ice cream and sort of been using that as a defense to tell myself that my next move would have to be something drastic. for a while the other day i was thinking Mexico Mexico and this is because i was having this conversation about south america with someone whom i work with and we were saying we were a little bored and fancied something new with a beach. but this was all a little stunt in my head. because there's a lot of nice places that anybody would like to say they've been to though then actuality hit me and i remembered who i was and everyone surrounding me.

i have to mention that yesterday and part of this morning i've been drinking this real yummy gazpacho soup which is served the colder the better and it makes me realize how good things are about to get.

and also i'm turning off boring things so dont talk to me unless you'd think its something impressive.

i have to do things like packing and then i'd find my glasses. and if i don't that's something id have to save for, along with a 35 mm camera made in the 60's and also a video camera because i realized i really like making videos like that Rome one i did, and then ill have to download something like final cut pro since i don't have alberto's mac anymore. but this is all good so get excited.

dont forget: you should write down your dreams or something more interesting because sometimes i get bored when reading about how to defeat the crisis.

behtah way

2009-03-31T17:11:00.000-07:00

i've started to do a little more exercising and i'm not just referring to my waitress job its much more than that there's cleaning the house or walking during my break and much strenuous activity to make my feet hurt. the good news is i bought a new notebook from Muji and some charcoal gray leggings and the paper in this sick new pet of mine is as hard as imagination and that thought makes me crazy. i've been impressed with myself because its been a week and i'm nearly finished with the curious incident of the dog in the night. im reading this book so fast that i've forgotten its name. try to compare yourself with me. you wont be able to. anyways satisfaction aside: its cold and tati's not home/ i made a disgusting salad with a little corn and rotten lettuce so i thought it out and fried fish sticks with a couple of french fries though they-drenched in oil- suffered. so i really didn't enjoy eating today. but i wont include the toasts with jam i ate softly around 7 pm. i'm grinding my teeth a lot so it's time for bed. good night to a belly ache.

when you feel like there's something missing and you can attack it

2009-03-16T01:55:00.000-07:00

im thinking that the only way ill be able to get over missing you i s if i write with frequency. don't get use to it. but i like it. prefer it. maybe you've notice my lack of updates. i'm unmotivated and repellingly placing all my efforts towards little emails and an assortment of face book messages comments etc.. who knows? i ate a couple cookies so far. when i dip them in milk i'm nostalgic .

i remember watching this episode of cribs (the show with andrew and houses) and they focused on a screen writer some kind of creative music video producer. he was Japanese. and slept on a mattress directly on the ground next to a note pad. in the middle of dreaming he gets an idea and this method of scripture was present daily and you know those routines that are really good to get into? i'm interested in that.

i wonder how long i can stay awake before feeling the mountain of tiredness.. in fact there's something coming right now and my extreme sport legs are starting to swallow all signs of soreness relief.

why do i feel so old?

i had a rough time focusing on sleeping because there's rafa on the couch and he was sort of facing my way eyes shut but i couldn't imagine him not watching me. not in a creepy way but there's that awkwardness when people sleep in the living room and you wake up with the opposite of a stagnant voice; there's nothing fabulous about it,. naturally there's a bit of time before i realize how to feel comfortable again.
anyways speaking of which
just know
that i'm looking for ch ch ch changes.

that's right something drastic, something that makes me feel like i'm a cat being thrown in the air or i'm speeding down a hill or in a car playing roller coaster.
you can carry the conversation you can find a spot for all my clothes you can rush me... and in return i will be your personal secretary ill get you feeling pumped. you'll like it. ..

and then that's it and then we're fine.

but for now i'm very tired and wouldn't mind having a banana.

i believe in nothing, everything is sacred"

2009-03-05T09:43:00.000-08:00

the night passed more slowly than the snnot slipping out of my constipated nose. he feels worse than a whores ass. it's protruding towards me and i like it. i like it like this song.

you wouldnt allow it

2009-02-23T15:36:00.001-08:00

DONT BE A DIRT BAG,

WASH YOUR FACE!!!!

and a song for after you rewatch my vid.

talk about total inebriation

2009-02-22T00:42:00.000-08:00

8:47 AM
me: hello
sister

praxsmiles: hello sister

elements of joy round ll

2009-02-19T01:44:00.002-08:00

making use of meshed footage in rome

le gran pelicula de carla uriarte en febrero romano from caca uriarte on Vimeo.

2009-02-15T16:54:00.000-08:00

the intertwining of identities is one of the largest reasons as to why I'm feeling so good right now. here on the floor with the emma´s big dog self slapped on top of me.

a homeless man who made his own museum using basic articles married with witty captions, and i call it the best man who deserves it. so i placed one euro in his donation box but all we had was a phone so i promise to get better photos for round two---and now eat your heart out:

the good thing about feeling like you're stuck to a person is you really get to make a lot of music. or watch them make panoramas and 360 degree planet shaped photos.. its easier to get excited about it when there´s someone pushing it to you. and those are just a couple of reasons, though without boring you, i could go on.
currently addressed a new schedule to feel more daily completeness: since today forced me to wake up early to return a bike which attempted to lift us both i got to eat an ice cream for breakfast.
took a large sandwich particularly forcing sun rays at ¨fontanta di trevi¨ got up because the un friendly police man asked us if we wanted sunscreen. apparently its impolite to lay on a national whatever whatever. but i was relaxed. i walked too many miles bought an old italian coin for four euros--- now heads decides every move and tails means no. there is a chicken key chain and when you squeeze it an egg squirts out and it exploded though according to the coin its good news.. i watched a very sad movie titled ¨the counterfeiter¨which is related with jews and counterfeiting money to survive but still being heroes. i felt scarred and couldn't go to the kitchen alone. then i was reminded to draw the old lady who jumped on the bus with a pounds load of confetti on her hair. i did just that though transferred the old lady into a curly haired women wrapped in a tight fitting leotard made to express her infatuating big belly. and now my lips are very chapped because my mouth is very thirsty and since i am still afraid to go to the kitchen i have no th ing.

for the heck of it:

2009-02-14T14:14:00.000-08:00

Dear Fuego, i decided to dedicate this to you and your raging watered clitoris.

and more smokes to come!
bonus:
the song of the night for all you VDAY SUPERSTARS:
¨german love¨ by starfucker

first short-cut figured out

2009-02-12T05:38:00.000-08:00

looking out my window wanting to be a part of it but then contemplating exact thoughts immediately. what i want is to write like arturo bandini. the swaying of his sense seen through first person easy fashion without trying though psychologically feeling failure. all at once i want to, or ....

then i felt a little tired and it´s not because i was working hard being that Ive never been good with tremendous effort. there are days when weight lifts over me and that's as far as an explanation goes. i felt an urge to get indiscriminately drunk and within my fingers tingle i was open... being ready means to flood full force i´m stampeding to his house knocking on the door --- i owned the entire miami. it took five tries to get any attention and i stumbled a few words together magnificently.

¨look here! you know what i do i take this little book with me and i hold it real tight pretending that i wrote everything inside it¨
don't discriminate so hard, at first i wasn't aware of where anything was going. tendencies confuse readers. loosing habits means gaining charm.

you know you're in the middle of the real deal when you notice they still love you after you've poured an entire bad mood over their heads, including a bottle of water- coming from your mouth not just a virtual public humiliation but the real deal. when you feel alright and they do too you know its something special so lets commemorate it. . they see nothing but the sun shining through your ass.. that's the real kind of love I'm telling you. it feels so sweet.

2009-02-07T23:50:00.001-08:00

2009-02-07T09:56:00.000-08:00

i thin k im manually artistic, wont you agree?

feeling like you just gave blood or something?

2009-02-07T07:05:00.000-08:00

credits to:

-my evian bottle-professionally cheap and here beside me refilled and refurbished.
-people who just whip it
-tremendous evidence
-the opposite of insurance raising
-actual jest
-knowing you'll get a move
-our all time favorite artists
-and the picture is--------
-sleeping well
-and a new art

a seconds cut in half and you realize this isn't what I'm looking for where is the spam? you're back again and you feel it. I'm walking outside but first i get on the elevator and i do this thing with the doors where i open the release using only two fingers. once I'm outside i say the same thing--every time: it´s not so cold today. little do i think about except either wanting gellato a pizza or suplee. if ignored i keep walking and maybe ill enter the metro which is a little dirty but im the kinda person who wont mind. im making noises i´m surrounded. we sing a lot. its not the best but theres a song in my head and it jumps around and today the circle of life moved over and he could have momentarily cried about the entire feeling. i would never, and that's the difference. were making mojitos --since four. its already 6:36=18:38 if you minus two from the 8 in the eighteen then you'd know its six and that's why i hate how Europeans take time. id rather jack off then always having to subtract two from everything.

three more things:

1. im cold
2. studying history of christianism makes you wonder
3. what would we do without women.

2009-02-06T06:15:00.000-08:00

elements of joy PT 1

2009-02-05T10:01:00.000-08:00

if little else, read this and learn more about me.

why?

not?

ignoring rap music? sounds like someones denying their little future. subordinate clauses clashing my suburban. party in a mouth?

maybe most people feel sorry about hypocrisy but what else can make you feel good? when it throws itself at me i cant even see it. there exists the old rotten carrot that you never could eat.

you couldn´t decline a step like in the middle of a coaster feeling. and you're on your knees climbing the whole way reaching the top wasn´t feeling ordinary but rather serious- inner- swooning. non romantic. you cant talk about it in that sort of way. though the steps were sheltered under wood you still feel the intensity of moving through history-- of jesus´actual feet, blood dripping under you and even if you weren´t spiritually righteous you're hit.

i did that yesterday

a sip of apple juice and I'm back to ordinary. we couldn't find any but i told a story and he just ignored it so i was like what?? today i did other things less religious. i halfly refused to go to ¨the baths of caracalla¨. but without fail here i wass melting over the yet remaining lateral mosaics layered over old dirt. I'm thinking even more now about how time differentiates itself with me.

i look ,
up

and out come individual thoughts on how i waste time
being impatient and thoughtless.

the definition of ¨ruins¨ stands all around me.

Tom Robbin's once said that if the world was any smaller we´d all have to get on a diet.

A place to go for two minutes.

2009-01-25T05:38:00.000-08:00

youll be smart when you admire yourself with obvious candor as if you're a dog gaining fun by tossing your jaw around.
fight of fun??

if he´s in the shower I'm over here spinning backwards, and theres a picture for this.

love a bus and the pizza shop. love a croissant given to you in the morning. love the two halves shared to mix flavor.
love the one who sends you money when you've got none. love the holiday which makes you eat. love the person who sits beside you. love a broken umbrella then throw it for being boring.

love a shower you don't have to heat.
and then get someone to ferret out food and eat a meal begging to be as good as zesty pad thai.
and there are the lengthening ideas that play something really Divine.

and walk down that lengthy shadow and finds its brink.

you´ll get it.

SMOKING KILLS-- II FUMO UCCIDE

2009-01-25T04:22:00.000-08:00

MY NOSE I S CONGESTED WITH TRAFFIC.

click the pictures of things talked about:

2009-01-21T13:14:00.000-08:00

by constructin his own mausoleum out of the city limits

2009-01-21T04:43:00.000-08:00

now let me tell you about what ive been doing. i know this is a good topic, it will inspire you to move your feet. we woke up very early but i couldnt get up perfectly as lately ive been doing thi s thing where i sleep too much, its senseless but im trying to get organized or even just the opposite. alberto jumped in that shower and i was waiting in dreams to go after him but this is all the boring parts. it gets good here:

i went to the vatican and took ten jumps just to get thirty shots of me flying. and inside was another story becuase you had to take your hat off and be really respectful by not making jokes though the person beside me wouldnt stop cracking funnies, and i couldnt help it, it was beautiful though terribly scarry. every sunday the pope gives mass and theyre these huge TVs outside so you can stand there under all that pressure to feel the holy. i even saw his bedroom window and that didnt interest me as much as it shouldve. what kicked me was the narrow streets and those glasses hanging like christams lights over a few shops. and i wish i could write about rome in the same interesting way as that guy does on japan so heres a stab:

theres something called the vatican wall its usefull safety against invasions becusase the pope runs with his troop until they reach the end of the wall where they are greeted by "castel sant'angelo" which is also known as the mausoleum of hadrian. hadrian wanted to be a good example for rome. with an aim to teach the roman s about cleanliness. if you gthered the dead bodies and placed them outside the city it could diminish most diseases.. when you feel as if you are really dying and have lots of money get a mauseleum..

do you think suck it or suck me is too much?

2009-01-21T04:33:00.001-08:00

you said you see this blog this has actual purpose. and its this whole quip titled super useless super powers. and shit my man couldnt get enough of it. and i was thinking to myself straightly: what the hell....

so what are you trying to say about the things i write?

im boring or something

i dont like what arriba has to say most of the time.. he thinks he knows somthing but hes retarded just like that cheesburger he ate last night. i wanted it . this is not over inforamtion. this is real life. if you dont like it dont watch movies. journalism is not going to dissapeqr because of muy blog

2009-01-15T07:24:00.000-08:00

i make the best apple sauce in t he entire world.

meeting zec and tati at TGIF. i cant shake the american out of me most specially during happy hour. what a lame thing to say. you know whats happening at eight. mia's coming to eat chinese food wth me in the underground metro hole in my face. and you know what that means. i cant pack today. and you know what? i'm feeling really good.

guess who's turning twenty three

2009-01-14T07:26:00.000-08:00

i got this horrible email from dad this morning and i'm startled.
there's a point when blogs become more and more less personal. this is happening to me most especially when seeing comments from weird names and you know things like that can almost really bug me. enough to consider making thoughts private. last night i had a talk with irene on me moving out and all i remember her saying was if i was still going to clean the kitchen and the bathroom and i almost threw my entire bed in her face. along with all the food in my mouth along with all the pee in my pussy. i have this odd strain on me. its enough to carry my shoulders down and walk almost like alberto and move my head satisfyingly. im thinking about the crepes we'd get in japan town, and that time with matt and miko. and playing tennis in the slums after me almost crying. last night before signing off i was trying to open up to one thing. i am a sore loser. i am not always a sore loser especially when things intimidate. but when i know i can win and its really biting me and suddenly you hit me with some hidden trick ill cry or quit or run into the bathroom and lock the door for a while. dad said worse things about me . i i feel the same with an added virus and i wont worry about my audience anymore. i cant eat anything asides from cereal but today i had a perrito and i hope you already pressed play to that song cause who doesnt like jason shwartzmen singing. i wouldnt mind anyone singing if they sounded like him or even something similarly deep.

alberto esta toma de pan y moja

2009-01-13T02:59:00.000-08:00

no job no money so off i go to rome. if anybody knows about anything coming up soon in the local area let me know come march as thats when im heading back. not to mention in this new excitement, im leaving my house. ive decided to start bald .bold.

--when you leave im all lousy

2009-01-11T07:29:00.001-08:00

who knows anything about being a big ball?
i do. announced the belly which gets me in loots of trouble. lately i promised myself more reality and that's exactly what's coming at me, no one wants to know it but i got the stomach flu. i would take exact pictures of what it looks like though my cameras in someone elses bin--- lost in infinity and i'm depression, like hell, just thinking of it. maybe even more so than how i feel when i think about worlds crashing or even burning intestines and inflamed things. but that's just me--materialistic. i'm better today. i think this because i can move. i finally insisted in mornings cereal w/ out shitting shortly after it. some people know what i mean and others not but its not for me to tell. alberto knows what i mean. he replaced all the sharp things i could've tripped on with fur coats. and made me a broth of choice.. i couldn't eat it. but it looked almost like sinigang minus the flavor and beef. it had a live hen inside which was actually dead and skinned. i cant believe he did it. i was in shock like i was the time i received that camera as a gift from tony. i don't have a picture of that though i have one of many other more socially conscious things, like once i had on e of me jumping really high but my dad wasn't quick enough so he created this jumping series, if i wanted i could create a movie. that time last year when drinking misso soup with my sister p was a good one because we felt very calm when eating together. and its something i really enjoy doing with people. when you have the stomach flu the problem is you loose your appetite for all things fun and when i say FUN I MEAN FOOD. and then there's no doing anything. louzy

babababa

2009-01-06T05:33:00.000-08:00

i miss this more than anything else i know. i'm hungry for some family. though thanks to tom i get to see some live action.
brought straight from new years day

a big message from baba: full commentary by babyones bigmouth...

2008-12-29T07:40:00.000-08:00

had to do something and forgot about this. as usual when faults become ironic in the back of the book im reading it says the opposite of this. normally its attractive but today im feeling greedy. that's why im acknowledging errands. topics to satisfy a n energetic you:

who saw britneys documentary and nearly cried?

be honest,
ill be.
i felt her heart and ate my own.

im not embarrassed to say anything except that i love her.

mom called me on christmas and i felt like i was living through the phone cords. i was really calm until finding out that praxis was with jeffrey at the movies watcing that brad pitt film., and i almost cried out of jealousy. as always it ends when shes with that guy and i'm not.

happy three kings.

feel bad for me and dont even think about anything else ,,

2008-12-20T06:19:00.000-08:00

yesterday after stealing grained twisted vanilla sugar like the pepper we use to have at home i ran. i was running after Alberto wanting to jump on his back in the midst of a caffeine spree from spains natural best cafe con leches. i hit one of those stupid metal things that stick up out of nowhere to seperate the sidewalks from the street and fell on my face in front of twenty million cristmas shoppers with kids who seemed to have a lot of spirit while watching me lay loudly.. thats all im feeling right now. real pain. and then you know what happened. i lost my camera.

but nothings that bad. had a good sushi party inmy flat yesterday.
and this is proof:

2008-12-20T06:12:00.000-08:00

- be careful you spilled some tuna oil on the floor but don't worry i mopped it up already.

-wont happen again ,, keep your music up.

lately the biggest controversy to hit my face. when i write i think about all trouble i can get myself into.

dedicated to praxis and any one else who has one

2008-12-14T16:42:00.001-08:00

BROTHERLY LOVE LIKE NO OTHER:
href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_IOjfNwRVI8A/SUWoSoHyYbI/AAAAAAAAAbI/6b_npkV4s74/s1600-h/n587110379_2237283_3678.jpg">

to the husband i've always wanted:

2008-12-13T06:03:00.000-08:00

one of the many things to put under the notch of all the things i can do either on a bedpost and or belt:

not only am i good at making things from scratch but i can turn a simple crepe into a halfly kebab own creation filled with many many's master piece. if you want a piece of this then you'll want a piece of me.

who knows anything about christmas and what im going to finally do today?
YOU SAID IT..

christmas card galore, with elenor, vintage cafe? you're invited for the ride if you dare to compete with me. hey miko if you read this give me a sign becaue i want some more of that fresh music. that "koka kora" shit you've been brewing up. like a catalog. im here waiting. very cold today but on a good day you get to feel this. when sitting on my couch and not really eating:

on the other side of my left nose. this is what goes on:

2008-12-10T04:18:00.001-08:00

looking out my window right now feeling good about relaxing in the living room for once. its a nice feeling that i only get during morning s starting rituals with afrian chocolate black tea in my new mug. and i'm writing shit.

lets get down to business.

i won't lie to you when i say i haven't been up to par with all the promised christmas cards that you'd imagine to be made on a regular basis with a factory contraption thousands a little splashes of paint running all over my fingers and there's nothing like a hot shower after that. the thing is i haven't been as busy as I've forced myself to think though I've been feeling conceptually tired. I'm dead water stagnant. life- less. invisible. all because I'm a little sick with this mountain of snot clogging my noses regular formality. and you know i got the whole bones aching going on. but when i smell chocolate at least for a second i feel absolutely better. if someone could get me a fountain or a life time endless finger snapping elf who can make me all the caramel machiatos, or hot chocolate with pandesal kinda thing. i d be set i know it.

irene's making something smeelling like that right now.
and i noticed:

some days i feel really good about being a teacher.
yesterday for example the kids got really into this sporadic game i made up. those eight year olds just jump on anything that has to do with points a competition and a self made winner. so they drew these things on the black board and i make them write the name of whatever they were drawing in english and it got real exciting. Sergio won with his entire marine life huge mural learning things like dolphin island orca. and on,.. twnety three points.
take a look caca's:

2008-12-02T02:53:00.000-08:00

FIRST READ THIS:

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/34198?utm_source=Distributed&utm_medium=Embedded%2BHTML&utm_campaign=Widgets

ken, the thing is this:

it would've been utterly rude and demeaning of me to simply ignore your well sought out attempt of trying to help me understand the differences between the men in europe and the ones laid ashore back home. a merely disappointing article. annoying with points of amusement though once shared with the following madrileno and prime time roman seductioionist me and him met on clear grounds with our views on outsiders stupidity. i cant call myself anything but I've been on enough swooning dates to last twenty years worth of tuna cans.

a little girl can run into disney land and almost die from its gripping attempt to catch her in and eat her like a ball rolling down a hill for ten hours. this can happen for three months and she wont be bored as shes sliding through a new land with offers. included:. instead of seeing ugly strangers all day shes captivated with the huge ears of dumbo and gets to ride on top of a mountain while feeling dizzy after sitting through circular motioned moving teacups. my point is that you can send any american to europe and simply by its lack of modern effort, ancient bricks and tassels --immediately LOVE prevails. men can find some unable though sometimes able foreigner a little appealing depending on the size shape and overall package. it should be the same here as it is anywhere else but the difference i think is the depth. in any sense there's guys who are all the same molded into their natural forced womanizing ways just as there are ones who find something special and know some things special willingly enough to share it with a little someone who manages to snag some attention for a well worth while. the deal of difference is really nothing. because of the environment european men are surrounded by whether its there mother's tight leash and lack of need for rebellion or the fact that they're these old rebuilt ruins everywhere. though, i think, it could be the fact that they know the map, geography something that most americans gripe with---kidding-- the style of life is homier, and can that make a man more romantic and inclined to take the ten extra steps to swoon you off your feet? maybe. im sure it depends on the father. jk im sure it depends on his motives, im sure it depends on the nature of things. on the person in any case they are as i can simply tell much more polite. respectable, even in their way to pick you up and take you over... maybe its just that it works. they buy you drinks easily enough to lay the cards out for you.

Ive been tallying the differences between madrid and SF so far noticing the lights, here remaining in an exact almost romantic almost misty dim shade. low clouds as to imagine oneself touching the skys ceiling while only moving an inch. the metro and buses are very clean as opposed to the shit we ride filled with trash and old bitten spit out seeds. the old women with their fur coats run everywhere and sometimes give you this ranged look of disapproval . depending on the area the moood is different. i think the madrilenos left here have high standards of life. they relax when wanting to relax and they work when times permitted. through many conversation i've noticed how degrading america looks from europe's point of view. most people are damply into visiting new york though no one rests interested in our politics and way of living. i dont know if way of living can even be defined nor do i know enough to speak about anything factual , but im just thinking about all these things and here i feel more embraced less cold and yesterday it was actually snowing.

but i couldnt really write about this. becuas e i'm not a guy nor fully european. but here's a real life version of what a real euro moving man thinks:

Next topic: What about us, what about "Euromantics"?

Mmm... I'm seeing a new point of view.

Obviously, everything depends on the culture, the way of living, the clichés. Taking this into account, let's go for it:

An american woman coming to Europe might be subconsciously thirsty of mediterranean sunbathed men talking with a whispering exotic accent they don't even understand while having a typical food which is not McDonalds under the lights of a picturesque terrace in a hidden little old street ten minutes away from a 500 years old monument created by the guy's ancesters.

I know I'm exagerating, but like South Park does - have I ever talked about that show? - this exagerations are in the end slight distorted portraits of REAL things. Ok?

Europe, physically, historically, with it's charming cities, seems a very beautiful place where the most magical dates can happen, where "making love in the sea while watching the lights of Barcelona" seems to sound better than "fucking in a car in front of the San Francisco bridge".

That girl wasn't right. We're obviously different because we've raised influenced by these cities' shapes and by these old countries histories which maybe America doesn't have the same way, but I'm sure if she had met an american guy living in Rome for the past 2 years he would have behaved the same way, taken her to the same spots, trattorias...

I don't believe in national clichés. I don't know too many american guys: Joe from Oregon seemed to be an American Pie like guy. Ken seems to be more of an intelectual guy.

I don't believe in national clichés. That bitch was judging a whole culture which was never owned specifically by the single guys she met. She was assigning them all the good things of something which is not individual.

Ken, don't worry, being "european" the way you think is not just a number on a passport. It's only on your personal behaviour. Euromen may just take profit of the enviroment. So, why wouldn't you be able to do the same thing?

Who's romantic is romantic, here and in China.

...

P.D.: Interesting Films: Leolo, Delicatessen.

...

Good night.

And to show you my proud for Europe is not incompatible with my respect for North America, I will tell you, this good music wouldn't exist with the US. There's things we sometimes forget, and we shouldn't.

Family guy
Woody Allen
The simpsons
Europe surviving two World Wars without speaking german
Bob Dylan
Bruce Springsteen
South Park
The Strokes
Marvin Gaye
Kubrick
Kings of Leon
Hollywood's good movies
Platters
Salinger
Capote
Marilyn Monroe
Warhol
Edison
Lincoln
Kennedy,
F.S.Fitzgerald,
Poe,
G. W. Bush -well, maybe not this one-
the Olsen twins (...)
The A Team
All the contemporary poets you love
Art movements in California which mostly are hipsters with moustaches and modern clothes, but sometimes really light a new thing.
ßilly Wilder in America
Hitchcock filming in America
Indie groups
Kings of Leon
Kings of Convenience
Porn
...

Un beso Carla,

Sigue aprendiendo español.

Te quiere,

Alberto le Charlatán.

EuroProud Spanish Poet Mayoral Dry Castellano

formally announcing anew feeling of home:

2008-11-27T02:58:00.000-08:00

-yesterday morning picking up my boxes turned to be a far longer in take than most.
-i'm fighting with cereal in the same way im fighting with time.
- someone tell me if leaving your laptop in the bathroom while showering is a bad idea.

i have most of my early possessions from home. i say most because i noticed the pieces praxis managed to snag. notice in her pictures a gray real savvy made by jigsaw masterpiece of a sweater shirt. notice my french connection black cheeath print circularly bought two years ago though still mating.its a warm warm long sleeved im everything i want to be sweater.its on her body, on all her photos. you know what. it doesnt nearly bother me as much as never seeing my carefully drawn on white converse. or ten year old onitsukas splashed with plenty long running memories in the gym . its not a big deal as i have something better. its called pride. no its ccallled eleven jackets, seventeen pairs of pants, fresh black converse, a large amount of socks. and more which i will encouragingly not mention. though still mentioning what i got isnt as important as what ive made. and this is when it gets sappy.
self realization s:
does this mean im never coming back? well maybe. unless a multimillion tempting offer takes place im stuck to the walls of madrids raspy callings.

get yourself some holiday pussy.

2008-11-25T03:04:00.000-08:00

give me your address and ill give you some fun--- a christmas card. one of a kind. high quality.

i'm serious, place here, and if you're a pussy about it send via email. mightimows@gmail.com
no spam.

i'm filled with it looking like a glee "ing" glow stick.

2008-11-25T02:49:00.001-08:00

do you know what i'm looking at? RIGHT IN FRONT of me lays the very well ultra savvy most important little rectangle hard plastic of my life. today yes, im saying it , i managed to acquire my spanish ID. DNI. and i feel like im a staple-- a real something.

FINALLY I'M HERE I'M HERE---- IN FOR THE TAKING.

2008-11-23T16:00:00.000-08:00

I keep forgetting about this. For the meantime I can talk about twelve things thatve been eating my ass in the most peculiar way. First I wanted to comment on my new worlds abundance filled with drizzle and theme. Theme is moving passports being mailed to my name as if they were some stolen religion. If you sent me fake tickets to rome then know that I’m coming . Im only talking figuratively or for a weekend or two. Type two : I made profit of my day and something that I realized is I’m better off learning English from anyone who s a non American, I say this becuas e i now say phrases like “it’s a shit” and I’m really good at using that line and spreading oil all over it. If you want to know more about the English I’m teaching THEN you should know that at times I’m forced to make everything up. A bird can do my job which means it’s very difficult. “Why am I posting all these pictures on facebook, how can I talk about it. What’s going on here carla. Have you become cool , yesterday in areia upon running into big torti I realized this. Wait, what,? Was this one of the first times you realized your popularity.” This is an example of how I don’t think. Don’t worry fans. Im stil verry humble. Just looking for some compliments: insert here----_____--.
Who wants to see pictures of my new flat? Well too bad im not showing you. I’ve made a video instead. Though when telling tati and explaining the idea and concept behind mtv’s cribs the Italian blow up real life white haired doll, couldn’t stop with her exploding "carla you’re an idiot" laughter. Will I post the video? I don’t know I don’t know,, see, I feel stupid now. Did I make one? The answer is yes I made four. Not from vanity but from lack of memory space and old picture non deletion. You don’t know how hard it is to write without a p . death in a nutt. Shit.

under newness

2008-11-11T02:33:00.000-08:00

so far i have one follower: found in the physics section of mission high he returns to me through such a distance--my biggest fan. this i can digest, one large dedication. i promise you that class was always exctiing, primarily speaking about yearbook's younger years..at this age twelve months passing and for my case four, really makes the difference.

how is that going anyways?

who took my postions, where's the new chief?

im in my own flat. its not my own entirely but i pay enough to claim half of it. sharring the other with irene the only madrilenha left in town. now with arriba gone i can only see some between times, passing by, moving through the cold streets and metro. has everyone migrated to the left? this can not be.

im lying.

cant stop dreaming about the fresh muffins found in the cafe just up the street -walk for a couple of minutes and you can get you own juice made, what is better. tell me. grocery shopping, i want something from trader joes. i want some pomegranite honest tea. i want some american to eat my face. some american thing. like dried mangos dipped in spicy. like tony's shrimp curry made with naan.like the tenderloin indian food made by moody makers unliklely to smile when your asking for extra sauce. like all the bad moods coming forward. like a big big big big big bowl of cereal just laying in the pantry upstairs, always waiting ten big boxes always milk always something.

shit

its so different when youre alone, at times, its nice to jump on some tendencies that a forgetful fast paced mover always over passes.

STILL LOOKING FOR A FLAT? TAKE A BREAK AND LOOK AT THIS

2008-11-01T09:21:00.000-07:00

im writing you in the middle of the urge of having to shit and other things that i will not list here due to a visit from an unfriendly boner. iw rite to you everyday you just cant see it. i dont know what to do with all these pleasant messages their trapped in my japanese ritmo notebook. i spent a dollar on it in t his store in daily city. its a real cool place filled with real japanese imported products all costing no more than five bitches--bucks. the pens for example are UN BEL I E V A BLE. do you know what that word means , its a big word meant for winners...

i wil answer all you mens GQ questions in the following message. this is just an intro to get the part y started.

first of, obviously, i miss you. your hairy butt, your hairy chest your hariy legs scrapping my body like a rug pushing to get in. maybe theres no hair on this keyboard but typing on it reminds me of the nice people that ive been thinking about for longer than a while. yes, i find some benefits in keeping you around. one. ] im able to talk to someone with no interruptions, with pure intentional listening. for a change its nice. for change is something....

i think that letters are meant for letters. so form this as my original opinion.this is the point to state one thing: i will differentiate my letters with my emails, with my internet activity messages on any social networking blog posting. words on actual paper written with an actual hand derive from a different brain cell. consider this the next time your thinking and actually mail me something glittery. obviously, this i smy new fantasy,. im more than really into it and will hit the favor back.

things need to stay with what their made of.

ill tell you about my night:

i dont know why but i choose to tell you everythinhg. all the time. everyday so here we go:

dans and mias party at dans boss's house real weird in the full sense of the word and zec got too drunk that he pulled my legs down as i was stirring the key into the hole to get inside home--finally. tati didnt want to party, she needed a break. this i understand -neither did i but last night was Halloween and without moving sleepings just silly. plus currently i have no one to rest at home with. so its easier, met a dj. his name is pronounced "me-high" its michael in a language, i cant remember the name of. i think im a better dj than him because i was like ok ok play the boo boo song play the BOO BOOsong. i mean its halloween. and yet nothing. i understand a couple things: i know that djs hate requests and i know that djs hate being told what to do by anyone with the name of carla uriarte. but shit , sometimes you just gotta scream like you don't give a fuck. it was better tha n the stupid girl wanting to hear tina turner. quickly for a second there a died.

and now to answer your questions:

Ten Questions Men want to Know about Carla Uriarte.

(extract from the "MAN" Magazine, Spanish Version, Octobre 31st 2008)

1. When did you write that comment on your blog answering "Linda", before you knew it had been me who had written it, or after?

before. know that you got me there, it's a rare commodity so eat it and chew it for a while--- preferably thirty times like the Japanese. actually after realizing it was you i wrote something like you piece of shit..though due to my absent minded refusal to log in, it never made network..

2. When you say Aguicate, you mean Aguacate? jaja
aguacate. thats the last time you make fun of my spanish,.

3. How can you make "burping" an art?
well letting it out is expressing yourself, isnt that what arts about?

4. Our journalists have made a little research about your life back in San Francisco. We've been ashtonished by a photo of you on a train, in the subway. Is there subway in San Francisco?

ha, what a question. IS THERE A SUBWAY ARE YOU KIDDING ME. yes, these subways are called muni. also the parallel to cercanias is BART/ we're just as advanced as spain carinho. the muni onsists of the J M N T L and maybe i cant remember the name. also theres an F which runs on the street looking like this:
F TRAIN LINK

5. Simeone, one of our specialists on "Gay things", caught one of our reporters, Alberto Le Jerk, watching that photo of you in the metro, where you look like a girl to dream of. Did you knew he said you were "carina", with a gayly accent? It sounded like music in our ears.

TELL HIM I LOVE HIM.

6. What's the secret of life? Please, tell our readers.
eating, thinking about eating. making big meals for big training days. dodging bullets named linda, jk. is this really viewable from google? you kill me.

7. There's a photo of this man in many corners of Rome.

http://images.google.it/images?sourceid=navclient&hl=it&ie=UTF-8&rlz=1T4ADBF_itIT257IT258&q=padre%20pio&um=1&sa=N&tab=wi

We were courious about who he was, and found out he was a miracolous priest who lived in Italy years ago, who had stigmas (injuries in his hands) and was ver popular in this country. His name is Padre Pio. Do you find any ressemblance between him and any person you know?
are you talking about the allergic reactions my hands would get from alcohol>? if not no, and im confused.

8. We've got in contact with some of your old students, back in time, when you used to teach english in Cantoblanco.

He said you used to spend your time convincing them to be friendly to democrats, and blamed republicans for everything...

What do you have to say to these statements?

maybe so. subliminal messages mostly. for example if you sing the song "head shoulders knees and toes backwards" its really saying "all hail OBAMA mccains a bitch, republicans bad democrats good" or anything as easy as repetitive drawings of hero donkeys and evil elephants. but nothing too extreme, i'm very nonchalant wIth these kinda persuasive learning techniques--you gotta teach our FUTURE SOMETHING.

9. We know you, unlike many famous people, don't have an amateur video tape made in your wild years... but we can't help this question... can you MAKE ONE for us. We promess no witnesses.

JESUS NO.

10. Whats the secret, how do you do it to revitalize souls with just a hah, an "ew", or a once in a while smart comment?

...

I'll keep on talking to you, LIVE, now.

2008-10-20T13:38:00.000-07:00

include: two yogurts , juice. lots of antioxidants. -fried oil..

it was the first day of work. and work is watching five six years old in a college classroom getting them to relax getting them to think getting them to not say butt in Spanish and to listen to a few of the boring things that i know-- i know could be fun. fun for six year olds should come easy. but when your wild your wild and i am relentless.

so..
arribas seeing romes river side while biking along its endless crossroads from the length of the world that exists on teh gorund and the rest that we'll never take the risk to see. when i think of it i think that i should get up and go to the rastro on sunday mornings and theres a couple ways to dance and my kinda dance is a sway which vibes like a duck chasin g a swan in the middle of the dessert while running losely --to loose its yellow rubber feathers while scarring all the sand away.

2008-10-20T13:33:00.001-07:00

looking like your just up for the morning holding a care free gigantic soda of what what did you cook?

today i was daring.
tempura pimiento--atun empanadaas

surprise surprise

soy milk

pasta -corn-tuna-apple vineger-crab meat-tomato-pepper

2008-10-19T07:09:00.000-07:00

last nhight was not horrible. it was just empty. wo wo wow.
listen to me:

I ATE THESE NOODLES ALONE.

I WALKED ALL THE WAY FROM ATOTCHAS MC DONALDS. I DIDNT GO INSIDE. IT WAS CLOSED. I HAVENT FORGOTEN MY promotional anti burger chicken nugget asap never going-- salsa agridulce promise.

IT WAS COLD AND I WAS WEARING ONE LAYER AS IT STARTED TO DRIZZLE WHILE I WAS LISTENING TO MY ZUNE WITH SATERDAYS NOISE MOVING ALONG BESIDE ME. I IGNORED FEELING BAD REPLACING IT FOR FEELING READY.

I REACHED GRANVIA SEEING THE FIRST CHINA MAN ON THE STREET BEGGING IN SPANISH I WAS THERE ASKING FOR ESPAGHETTI.. NOTHING. I WALKED MORE HAVING ONE HOUR TO KILL BEFORE THE NEXT FIVE AM N22 RAN ON THE stop THAT WE'RE ALL SO USED TO. THIS IS THE FIRST TIME THAT I WAS EVER HERE ALONE. EATING NOODLES. FEELING SOMETHING, I CANT TALK ABOU T.

i thinki think..

2008-10-19T07:00:00.000-07:00

ive been sleeping all day with mao the cat beside me. sometimes i do double takes on this ones name. i hear it being called MITVCHO. italian?

alone---> weird quietness -->>>> similar. first time. to the sevens of tons of time collapsing between the poured inches in my boxed hole.

i cant leave the house. i dont want to.

here's a chain for a chain:

2008-10-17T10:21:00.001-07:00

to my sister who never has anything better to do:

a. real tall things are attractive in the way they provide shade for long periods of time-- the idea of being under one of these branches really gets me going.

b. i like it when races re enter their race with bi focal sunglasses. my room mates do this and unlike albertos pride for spain they placce their excitement on worldly events like zec trying to watch the final debates of the american elections. live. ok youre going to kill me. i didnt mean it like that. arriba , your blood just flows with dominant remarks"spain rules in everything even the flies even the shit -- the shit smells better here."according to me he's crazy. just making fun of you. all the times necessary.

c.if you want to call me and go out i ll like you even better. what do i hate? effort duh. i dont care what you say when it comes to moving im a snail trapped in a letter box. jk. all that im saying isnt true.

d.last night me and zec went out to get some italian pizza in the most touristic area which can be compared to madrid's own rendition of disneyland. i was taking him out ---i was taking him out.. until i realized that i had mistaken a five euro bill for a twenty euro bill.. and well tonight's a new night. los siento a mil.

e. if you want to really live spain live the language. a heard that today. after reflecting im now thinking i know ones who know language and dont know spain but know irish pubs like dubliners which pay shit to their workers: shit is three euros an hour. quit quit quit. i hate pubs. remember faculty. remember that about me. they have the gal to charge an extra thirty cents for tobaco and let me tell you thats not the only illeagal-ing going around. suck it. twenty times.

6.) today in the metro i saw two old strangers touching knees. i wanted to snap at them with my thirty five millimeter. i knew it would've been the most productive picture for a while to come. i dont lag my camera around anymore becuase i don't have the patience to deal with that and making money. for note six i'm complaining about being on my own. im complaining about not having the richest self proclamation yet to hit my face. a face. when i see people with "it" i think about how that "it" needs to be with me. useless, thoughts, just complaints, and reminders to get a moving. you you got it when youre doing what you want. with who you want,.

g. self teachers. i admire those who can read online. why cant i read online? i can read online but i only feel comfortable reading paper. outside like a gardner with its plants.

h. hey pea. you want to eat sushi with me dont you? the last time i had sushi was three months ago when dad came home from a romantic date with his wife and i refused to come so i sat in silence under my computers video streaming of the office. maybe he felt bad. when he cam ehome i got the equivalent to seven elevn sushi at its best. no thats a lie. shortly after the next month or something around that. i went to this small sushi bar reminding me of sushi zone. me and jases favorite treat. the differences: they only served maki. there wasnt you. there wasnt nothing but maki. there wasnt you. etc. etc. i did however have some good japanese beer. and good company, at last.

----essential sixteen note break.

todays theme:

2008-10-15T04:57:00.001-07:00

two things on my mind asides from prison break:

2008-10-14T08:46:00.000-07:00

2008-10-10T10:06:00.000-07:00

part of this:

yes yes i held the microphone.

party heels elevated platform for a better looking you in no time.

2008-10-10T09:41:00.000-07:00

i listened to you and gave your kinda thing a try.
who am i always talking to? everyones asking. the answer: never.

last night i ended up on a long road trip to the country side. they said listen. and then i understood that living in rural life means living in closed peace. an open bag spilling everything--quietly. as i walked in the house and bare--footedly stepped out of the car. i felt nothing close. everything was distant and i recognized myself through a glass window. the perspective changed too quickly -- im someone who lives in the past. only noticing during lazy laid away thinking moments. who knew that a thursday night at nells could do this. could play pablos mgmt kids hit all to dance gyrate generate move. and it was packed i couldn't recognize this boring Wednesday venue. it was something better. ideas ideas ideas....

so mission high is something that feels really old but shit man, mission high and seeing all those kids just like me with their new pictures and new friends new life all moving forward. realllllllly great.

COLLATERAL evidence of ones lost room: obviously i am capable of creating a live-- in masterpiece. NO questions.

2008-10-08T06:30:00.000-07:00

>

no shame in self vanity, it seems like. i know i know. apologies all around..

2008-10-06T11:39:00.000-07:00

ive been in this office more than all day long. for no apparent reason-- just to be somewhere in doors for internet and usage on my laptop.. wanting to go out tonight with somebody but nobodies reciprocating to the text messages that i haven't sent. im thinking it will be one of those solo nights where im off to meet strangers or to stare at everybody as they are cross socializing almost having fun. from the japanese spanish traveler to japan man link alberto sent me i got inspired to start takking more pictures as to document my days showing my readers-- if any really exist ---something visual-- as it sits better in the brain. like a little story of all the nothings ive been doing. today i made two maps of two possible shit irish pubs i could maybe work in. today while eating early dinner consisting of tuna and corn at six while chewing i met a man who asked me to take a picture of him with his phone in front of the very grand plaza espana fountain.i did and then after he talked to me in spanish and maybe he has a friend i can baby sit for. with these kinda things you never know if the person is real or fake. usually i can tell through the thick line but when its fine it leaves nothing to decipher.

been missing too much open spaces lately, but one to remember is this night which got me sick with a sickness that will most likely last forever:

illness for things that make me feel good about myself. this includes places like picnic, cafe's with a great window opener, cats: a new friendly animal, cleaning the house, and company. maybe i cant make decisions perfectly but im good at knowing what i want. in the meantime. i know what i want and the letters it begins with and teh way it looks. the way it looks becuas e iv e been picturing for a long while. . . its big and bold and yelling GET OVER HERE. GET ON IT. GOG O GO. you know things with hurry and speed to move me faster. without it ill be in my shell all day evaporating like a smokless joint. or even worSE a smokeless cigarette that does nothing. i like it when i go out and here people saying "i dont want this anymore" it makes me think, hey me too. .. then suddenly i flash out of that thought and im still in the office. what am i thinking. i should get out of here. im just waiting for this great video to load. found what to do: meeting daniel and mia for drinks in their house and then maybe ill take them somewhere cool. have you heard of HOLYSHIT? if not look up the song rough and tumble on hypem, its so good for right now. esp if you are feeling tight and secure. it loosens you up in a good way. so you wont complain. .

iwish i didnt have to go to MEXICAN SEXY NIGHT at nells this Wednesday. jobs like this SUCK.

2008-10-05T06:21:00.000-07:00

its getting reallly lonely here in madrid.

anyone anyone anyone..

stop making excuses

2008-10-03T06:18:00.000-07:00

we are all bi polar it means we have energy use it wisely

YESSA
thats what arlo told me today

watch this if you want to cream

"this is what i call a no-where-thinking"

2008-10-03T05:30:00.000-07:00

remember when we went to that fair in la latina and came back a couple times later and sat in that posh bar with the american girl who was too drunk to smoke a cigarette -ate it backwards and couldnt get hit on. usually when i have a thousand things to do i minimize it to one, focusing on memories such as the ones that speak through a silent luster of chill. always cold because my boxes havent been sent--> to the house that i dont have---> through the mom that i do have and still where the fuck can i live?

i can live anywhere but i want to live with you.
noticed a final thing about cooking the more you watch the more you grow the more you feel better about whta your eating while your creating and its a beautiful hobby ive got to learn spanish bettter. he tells me to learn spanish better and i agree. fully:

i have another post card ready for you:
you dont have to read this this is just for me:

you were talking about giving explanations to people

what people
generally
people who ask me questions
this includes starngers
to fmily
to friends
im being wholly general
just the questions u get
you know the normal questions
that run on top of eachother
like when you fall on your face
and get a black eye
and everyone’s like
what happened what happened
and you have to give the same old explanation 96 times
for nothing
but general curiosity
im not saying im a victim
im just the same
i would ask too
maybe not asking would be impolite
you know
its just something i think about

hey hey hey...

this is what i call a no-where-thinking

i have many of them each day

its normal
its annoyong to me
so much that i feel bi polar
it really makes me feel bi polar no kidding.
i mean one second i want to live in spain and i love it and the next i want to go home

me too...

and yes, as weird as it seems these questions
these question have a lot to do with it
because it gets me to the use less thinking and then i just dont know
and then you know im home all day dresed and ready
but i dont leave the house
because i dont know i just cant
go
i sit here for whiles upon whiles thinking about things that overall dont affect me

he steals magic carpet and flies off

2008-09-29T08:47:00.000-07:00

one includes a tap dancing scene in the middle of a bowling ally and one includes entering a jail and leaving with the interviewers as helpful castaways. i lack generic confidence. instead of asking if you want to hear something i hear something by myself. the longer im home during the evenings the more i learn about cooking asparagus. and then i feel lucky to know an Italian sud- o chef bay to breaker. and how does this all tie in? the problem is that i missed the birthday party of my life titled: arlo and celina's eighties get away. SHIT. i would've paid to see baba dressed as Tina Turner-----> hid away at alberto's final get away/ party mania for the weekend filled with lazy boys television and a quiet night of alfredo's Texas style mafia burgers. If you say you fucking hate Spain you don't know shit. TRUST ME. the longer i'm here the more i realize what places not to be at. example: independece hosting an oasis album realase party. SHIT. who can stand to listen to that for twelve hours straight? who can afford to pay five euros for a heiniken. NOT ME. so i left after my favorites yanked me. round two. the bowling ally scene: describing it with one word : analogy. why? go to the dictionary and figure it out yourself. word reference me word reference me.

ok if i dont get out of this office. ill get nowhere.

seeing alberto for the last time before he goes to leave to rome for five months with no mercy taken. hell miss the hot chorizo his mother always makes him, ill miss his milk and honey.

if you want out then i want out too.

2008-09-26T04:56:00.000-07:00

ive been recieving a lot of emails--- concerning emails. some good some bad some that feel like a train is runnning over my balls. but none the less, regardless of what youre saying, who ever you may be, and all of you, i think its enough to fill you up with a quick update of the wide eyed occurrences of my life:

living with zec and tati. they have a real nice flat. all the furniture was included in their building and theres this big garden with a wood shack which has a washer and the other day i learned how to use it rejuvenating my colors and darks. i ussually try to keep tidy and am not doing extremely horribly. i keep my folded clothes on an iron bored right next to the dining room table with the huge hovered lamp and i sometimes imagine it to be hungry. during october ill have to watch the cat. i use to be really allergic to it until i went to the pharmacy saying "tengo allegisias a los gatos. necessito una pildoras." check SP. i suck.

and now its ok. i worked in dubliners for one day. one day because i wa s getting paid three euros an hour waitressing my ass off from 7- 4am. i went to the owner asking for my rights and he let me go. that was my first practical ending. asides from that ive been sending and resending my cv to a million places. but nothing happens getting me up there in shit. out of every one hundredth person, when handing out flyers, atleast three will be interested. self motivation, so to speak. speaking of a new plan.

now that jason wants out in our plans for the future i am forced to be self assuring. sure, this is what i wanted but its like ordering the best thing on the menu, eating it, and realizing that you wanted something else.

last night me adn arriba went to see the new woody movie and after went to our favorite place. which could or couldnt be. maybe it isnt ii think its top five. we talked about the differences between now and then and carried on with a fight on repetition in language and how im not into anything but the chinese spaghetti sold always on gran via. the day before that was ochos wednesday annual party at nells. i always hate these things becuase the rap music bleeds into my ears reminding me of the times we would listen to fabolous and ashanti while dreaming in your bed. but a job is ajob and its m y duty to get foreigners in and to get forigners in and a cycle reminding me of recycling. earlier before that i went to a real madrid match. them winning 7-1 and sure i really didnt care about football. but this time i felt like i wa s back home in the giants stadium with arlo and jakob. the best thing about it was i was with this real overwhelmingly posh bunch who wore things you wouldnt believe and got seated in the vip section receiving free drinks tapas and a glass of champagne after the wining. i wore the wrist bracelet for two days having to show it off.

mom wants me to move to london, thinking that itll be stabler for me if i were to recieve guidence from her good friend joel. also she thinks hes perfect for me as he is developed around the creative fields i drive from. im thinking yes. i wouldn't mind another change. maybe like the movie its me who also doesnt know what she wants and instead its that i know what i dont. i know that i have to keep moving. the second i feel relaxed the second something goes wrong. im tired of thinking about today. its better to think about tomorrow.

im the king of bad jokes dont try to steal my throne," youre jealous i feel it"

2008-09-16T09:21:00.000-07:00

dear arriba,

its been months that were nearly seconds next to the time of another's and never remembering one day. but i remember this--the times as a kid when you walked the earth in a raincoat and ballet shoes. smiling easy, as they snapped at you, shot , after, shot. dont forget one thing. when you see unknown scattered bruises on your golden shoulders dont look lost. some find it hard to see and others to eat. and others to think working best under persuasion. pure perspective dependence based on absolutely everything. being general means being open and thats why i like you dont think otherwise. not why i like you more why im like you.

supposing the quantity

2008-09-09T08:53:00.000-07:00

which isnt anythin yet. clouds are a deep gray and i knew it was going to start hailing any second as i was walking home and felt spit run through my head.. one two five twelve hundred until i was soaked under a wetness so irresi s ti b le and as everyone was running to the closest tree. i stopped to get my feet wet. mmmm.

2008-09-09T08:46:00.000-07:00

alberto told me this today:

"i ask very much, i look like a 45 year old single man waiting for her grandma to die and get the money...

i ask very much, i look like a 45 year old single man waiting for her grandma to die and get the money... "
living with zec and tati.
im so lucky.

if you made that up i love you if not forget it.

"ah... i just wasn't sure... there are some little frontiers built by different languages that i still have to... demolish"!

demolish my face into our new ideas of the walls open ceiling with grass and sand inside a fish bowl to be quiet yet noisy. its just like they say wasting time is wasting money.

"and i don't like saying "yeah yeah" when i really haven't understood

it's... peligroso

cause sooner or later, the other people will get ya

........................"

SHIT i cant take this smart ass,s answers, its enough to keep anyone awake.

somethings out of joint

2008-08-29T07:44:00.000-07:00

AND because nothing's ever short enough everything's long enough to mean something. when all else fails i remember the blurry haze of sanfrancisco's brisk . it's squeezed apples in my mouth . someone calls this procrastination and i call it luck. or scream CHECK IT then look in the mirror. or do everything opposite for two hours and yell FINISHED when done. i celebrate with a burger.

ten million people tell me to wait. ten million people say nothing. when i get lost in a choice i just go. right now that's what i'm doing. last night we went to cafe paris and danced in a puddle of someone's spilled drink. when walls are painted red the lights are dim and killing a fly is almost impossible .

eating two things in one second

2008-08-26T09:32:00.000-07:00

i havent been lazy i've been busy. feeling really good. today i met with danny who i met through lucas. danny runs ramses, which is a bad ass place to eat but only if you're lenny kravitz and filled with money. if that doesn't work then there's always plan b.

madrid is surely a wonder land
in winter it eats people
while they're
walking
so.. no one goes outside
i don't know for sure but this is what
i hear.
right now it looks like this
very beautiful?

i fell a sleep right on the grass next to someone with a beard eating
fruit with a pocket knife reminding me of
bradford
though, only for a second.
mmmmmmm
i woke up like harry potter and my nanny's name was anna.
walking down those stairs made me realize
two things:
a. construction and scaffolding two of jason's favorites. he describes it as progress.
b. mama in manila

so, in conclusion i've learned everything i need to know on a tuesday. luckily, today's not over it's only seven o clock.

2008-08-23T05:26:00.000-07:00

caca post those flickr pictures.

yesterday before bed or the night before that as i was almost to the first second of sleep i was thinking about writing something that went a little like this. tell no and then i was no concentrate no and no .. it was thoughts followed by a complete repetition of the word no. i cant get it back fully but at the time i felt represented. im hungry.. with no food. and i read something today that made me hate burger king and even chicken nuggets. "and no matter how much someone smokes, it will never be enough. "

2008-08-21T04:26:00.000-07:00

i you're ever out in the dark of the night and see this guy wandering around coming closer. t ru st me when i say walk the opposite way.

not knowing anything or everything at the same time

2008-08-19T06:55:00.000-07:00

eating everything means eating a hot dog and pork chops. sometimes i say porch chops, usually i say that when referring to food. i am humbly aware of the difference. when you fall out of it it's better than falling into it. i don't mean that. falling in love is a fast thing that can be compared to speed or some say coke. for me i wouldn't know. neither. when you want me to meet you at the park i'll be there twenty minutes early. it's enough time to prepare a perfect position. to think of the look on my face. the one you will quickly see. to catch a first glance is just the same as catching a baseball in the catcher section without a mask or glove or hands and just feet.

"todays the begininnig of the rest of my life" i woke up read that and knocked down everything from my walls. and cleared all my documents. erased my old screen saver. ate a few different things. and listened for once..

chirstmas is coming.
here is this to get you in the modd for everything above:

what's eating you?

2008-08-18T10:50:00.000-07:00

i couldnt stop laughing when i read this

HONEST TEA FEUD OF MY LIFE

2008-08-12T12:22:00.000-07:00

jasbyr caca face just told me about coca cola buying out honest tea and even though im all the way here i still shat myself with awful amazement. typically my instincts shouted traitor traitor! but now that i am one article older i am clapping my hands with comic relief. (not so comical)

READ FEBRUARY 25TH, IF YOU DONT YOU ARE NOTHING

HONEST TEA LINK HERE

i am the speaker and robert frost is the poet

2008-08-11T08:24:00.000-07:00

i spent my entire last year forcing UN identifiable negative thoughts down my dry throat . first i felt that she knew nothing about the word data or and. anything that wasn't globally justifying didn't matter. in a way this threatened me. she would say things like this isn't a nationwide youth trend this is a root in time. i would be sitting there thinking sleep. anyone who doesn't believe in free rice dot com doesn't believe in me. and ever since then i noticed myself failing miserably. last night i felt different. as i was sitting between the conversation of four Italian speakers i saw myself reflecting on a poem titled "be me or be yourself" i never heard of it before, but made it up to fill my mood, with good thoughts, on the positive effects of language barriers.

november eighth 2 thousand seven,
yesterday as he was taking a crap, i hoped on his computer entered his inbox and read what the popular cultures been warning me about.

best thanks to zek

2008-08-09T07:59:00.000-07:00

i miss my caca

2008-08-09T06:41:00.000-07:00

it's true.

DEAD END

add me as a contact and you'll have me for life.

2008-08-07T09:14:00.000-07:00

i am a little disappointed. i cant find an english dengue fever song and i want to remember that time in the car in LA. people can see someone and think scumbag. people can see me and think victory. these are the motivational words i tell myself while washing the dishes. usually i like it dark as it creates a very distinct atmosphere-- one in which i imagine myself in the woods. there's a lot of things that i've promised to do though haven't done yet. a motivational banner saying "go! go! go!" flyers with t he correct pronunciation of my last name -URRRRR-Y-AARRR- T E. it's not easy to say things so hard. anything with a B usually makes me sound super sanFranciscan. super supper.

2008-08-06T05:27:00.000-07:00

look what i found its been a lucky week

announcing the publication to the introduction of myself

2008-08-05T01:19:00.000-07:00

interests:skipping songs like skipping rocks and then ironing all my clothes and then washing everything. hanging far from all complaints on spilling. i like talking to anyone who can reciprocate with the same speed. or tries and sounds good anyways. usually though, i wont care depending on the variety infront of me. contemplating on all grammar rules-- one's to follow ones to break,, or never knowing.. in my head lately ive been talking in spanish. out loud english . if it's something i like it's something i can't get enough of. usually otherwise it's easy. sometimes you cant tell. no backspace means no error. just like side effects e x plo din g in all directions. sticky fingers all over my keyboard . not good at it but will be good at it. "it" is known always. im into drastically reduced things that start with letters K-A. anything not in, wont fit.

dont lie to a liar

2008-08-04T01:09:00.000-07:00

for a while i was watching donnie darko, until it got real late and i was close to the end where that guy died and the girl died and i couldn't take it. i started watching the office and then this video on procrastination. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXziurFkQxM
it's fine if you dont like it, but i do. it's been very hot and lately i've been very hungover and on a streak of too much fun. fun comes in giant dosages and is followed by a slow period of eating cereal by the electric fan, and keeping cool with iced water, or just settling for plain .

eat your ass

2008-08-01T11:59:00.000-07:00

Now feels like a month in a space ship with miko’s galaxy music laying on my radios half dead speaker. I haven’t been holding up due to my missing p. it takes forever to cope with missing things. And every time I look at my keyboard I remember it and end up feeling worse. Today I went in a moot direction and he told me that I have to play a game called choice a or b. right now I’m heading more towards a but b’s are always better. I haven’t decided but still I know.
“I’ve never found clowns amusing”
"you’re a clown”
"sometimes
maybe mroe often than not"
"yeah thats what i like about you'"
"i like everything you represent"
"i like everything you feed me"

IF YOURE GOING TO READ ANYTHING READ THIS

2008-07-29T15:29:00.000-07:00

today i was under the influence. the influence in believing that i was a good multitasker with the utmost skill at picking and choosing how many things i would like to do at the same time. i am so stupid. those of you who know me know my deep admiration for letters particularly the letter "p"
today i was chatting on line with matt and he said something funny and i'm not blaming him as much as i should but i laughed and i had a yogurt in my hand and it mustve been really funny cause i jerked my arm towards my keyboard and splash went everything all over. so now my "p" doesnt work nor my backspace shift tab number outlet etc. i have to copy and paste the"p" when needed which is an exercise. .

SUCK MY COCK

hey jason its your birthday shake your bootie

2008-07-28T13:56:00.000-07:00

i am totally dying.
can you believe it, the chocolate in my special k chocolate edition is now melted. like a malt ball of recycled ice cream whispering loudly yearning for love as it is drif t i n g a w a y.

oh no dont leave, if you leave i'll be alone and i would hate that. i dont get along with fear i'm a very logical guy.

i want to dedicate this to someone special.

"to be loved, certainly, is different from being admired, as one can be admired from afar but to really love someone it is essential to be in the same room with the person, crouching behind the drapes." woody

i realized that when i left and moved left and then realized it was dumb so moved over. the thing you want to remember, my dear, is that life has it's appropriate rewards. there's always someone out there who will remember enough to be a witness, so make sure you count what you do, and do it calmly as not to forget. m ward me and i will reward you with the best dance i'll ever give.

happy birthday to the biggest caca i know!