COME TO ME!

this blog is officially terminated for the time being and maybe forever.

why you ask? Ive created a tumblr.

please come visit, you would enjoy it more than everything else you've ever touched in the universe.

cocacoracaca.tumblr.com

thank you for your time. and GO! GO! GO!

the elephant in the room always eats me

i was independent when i had cats and now its just mad men and sleeping past three. i just was about to swing with my base ball bat until someone knocked me over in my head.

to pea

im writing about you because you told me to, while doing it i'm listening to biggie. the B.I.G he reminds me of you in the same way bananas do. i feel close to these things, but even so your face. i don't know how i feel about your tumblr. reading the twenty five things you've written about yourself not in particular order makes me feel uneasy. i keep internally screaming thats not you thats not you. still, however, i feel connected, even with out wrapped leather around my wrists.

missing you tremendously

carl cox

what are you doing better than me?

im under a brick called sleep

the start of the new you going both ways

i can die happy if this was playing in the background:

EISBAER

click it, i hope you clicked it.

im leaving my house this week to begin something in a new place which includes no one next to me and i can even say that i wont have a blanket. that means evertything will be NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW i dont know what words better.

rough week? think new. i do wish me and rob traded places in the sense that i got a student shared flat and he got mine but i have a window and im praying it to bring me lots of light and motivation. Moving is always nice becuase it gives other places a chance to feel like home. he once told me that ill never be comfortable anywhere enough to make it feels like home but i wont believe that. he said that our only home is the one with our parents but i wont believe that either. if youre going to be 19 and away your obliged to making your own rules, and thats reason A as to why i left. also im really greatful to xabi for giving my computer another go. everytime im happy wth it it blows up on me to the point of me convincing myself that im cursed. i will start painting now. i will never be late to work. i will use the new athletic la trainer adidas that my dad has bought me. i wont have excuses becuase i wont need them. i will be a terrace queen and drink only when i feel like one.

heres a version for before bed or durung love making:

EISBAER

started opening picnic today which is a deal bigger than christmas becuase im a woman. i cleaned everything dirty and felt good about it.

hiding under china

youre under your mother´s belly becuasse there's no room in any corner. or center. or underground tunnels with little floweres pawned in the middle. i want what i cant have and when i can get it i grow ten inches taller.

the start of my day was alright. normally i wake up when rob gets home which is auto motivation. though, sometimes we sleep again becuase i understand how hard it is with the hours. as my eyes a drift i´m thinking it'll be ok later when im awake.

me right now:

i cant say how i feel. but it hurts. only in a physical way which i think is better because its manageable and less frightening. i know whats going to happen, ill eat a salad and we'll continue to spend all days in bed until we can't take it as our bodies will turn effervescent and we wont notice ourselves in the mirror and time will run by and that's a loss of identity but more so being social . better yet i should say that im happy. i 'm going to quit feeling sad about anything sorted around this redundant intuition and start thinking about the future. the future is full o f glittered days and good friends-- no alcohol. we'll feel good anyways. i want to go away again, take me.......

have a wank

Dear Kat,
I'm not a bad friend just a bad writer or
pen pal but lets skip that .. why don't you give me your address so i can finally send you Christmas cards with drawings and cool things like Spain's smell.
current news:
Living with Rob in this overly beautiful apartment think of it looking like Jason's though fresher and homier.
i will take photos which will consist of me and the apartment yelling in the background and it ll be something good to look at

I'm working two jobs. i make good money, though sometimes I'm really bored and get nervous because the pub is killing me and i need solutions. quick.

my entire family is in Sydney Australia. mom tony prax. i don't want to go. I'm developing this thesis of life being more important in the moment rather than in the future. but its stupid and i need to discover a better solution. so far I'm doing research on critically thinking and I'm deep two paragraphs which feels good.

hows your relationship going?
and school and life mother, friends and roommates.
tell me something special
i hanker for you

love
carla

in the middle of realizing that my keyboard will not and can not work which leaves me to option A, and that is responsibility. in due time . . ,

be naked when i get home

today is different as most days deny me the pleasure of sleeping sixteen hours non stop.

I don't know about you but i failed my first year of chemistry mind you i was ahead being the only sophmore in a junior class however i took it again senior year and blew my eco friendly human rights teacher away with a presentation on steroids.
whats even cooler is this website>>
PERIODIC TABLE PRINTMAKING
if i had this about that time im sure things would've strummed out differently and definetely more motivating.

i like zinc, it helps with colds and overall animal strength.

i want to be a part of this

though more importantly i ate enough meat to last me a life time thanks to tony romas appropriately sized doggy bags.
there's nothing better than harrassing ribs and chicken like chewing gum .

i have a sore jaw and xabi with his portugeeeeese friends to blame.
i have a general sense of what i need to do>

what i need to do is get ready for thursday and that means doing all the laundry and buying chris a bottle of tequila before heading to work tomorrow. better sleeping habbits. to see my brother because hes looking cute and i miss nathan an dnin aand jakob and ettienne and atleast there s a baby around which isnt suppose to sounds as weird as that did. to get a home. to change the bed sheets. buy cereal, and work on writing anything else.

sorry .

happy 2010 losers.
and a final goood bye for its time to sleep>>


love that song.